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Poems from the Heart

In Loving Memory of Our Dear Son Chris

In tears I saw you sinking,
I watched you fade away.
You suffered much in silence,
you fought so hard to stay.
You faced your task with courage.
Your spirit did not bend,
and still you kept on fighting until the very end.
God saw you getting tired.
When a cure was not to be.
So he put his arms around you and whispered "come to me".
So when I saw you sleeping So peaceful, free from pain.
I could not wish you back
to suffer that again.

Chris

Look, I'm not your friend. I'm your Mother.
I am the only Mother you will ever have.
My job is very different from, and way beyond, the job of being your friend.
Also, this is not a democracy.
I didn't campaign for you to elect me. You certainly didn't vote for me.
But, God did choose me for this job. 
If you could realize how much I love you, (I hope that deep down you know I do)
Then it would be easier for you to take my discipline because it is an extension of my love. 
I, as your parent, have a tremendous responsibility.
I am the one who God trusted to introduce you to this world.
It is my job to guide you to the road that will take you to a good life.
You may question my intelligence, my logic, or even my sanity, but you cannot question my intent. 
This is not an easy job! (One that you won't truly understand until you have kids of your own!)
The one thing I want you to get from all this is... I love you so much that I am willing to sacrifice your love for me in order to put you on the right road.
If you still love me, that's wonderful.
But that's not as important as the fact that I love you! 
Mam

Chris My Son

Sadness is a vein that runs through my heart
The pain remains when we’re apart
No voice I hear but pain I feel
Your loss is too great for me to bear
 
The death of my child
Is a tear in my heart
I will never again hold you in my arms
Nor see your smiling face
 
The death of my child leaves me hollow inside
Your voice your smile
Your laughter I will never hear
 
I only have memories of you
Until we meet again my son
I will mourn your loss to eternity for you and me

My Biggest Fear

My biggest fear was to lose my son,
now I’ve lost him my fear has gone.
There’s nothing left for me to fear,
I’ve lost the one I held so dear.
 
The worst is over, the horror is past,
The thing I feared most has happened at last,
No more do I worry, no more do I care,
nothing can hurt when a heart isn’t there.
 
I’ve been through hell and survived somehow,
nothing else can touch me now,
there’s nothing to fear of life to come,
I lost it all when I lost my son

Please Be Gentle

Please be gentle with me for I am grieving.
The sea I swim in is a lonely one
and the shore seems miles away.
Waves of despair numb my soul
as I struggle through each day.
My heart is heavy with sorrow.
I want to shout and scream
and repeatedly ask “why.”
At time, my grief overwhelms me
and I weep bitterly,
so great is my loss.
Please don’t turn away
Or tell me to move on with my life.
I must embrace my pain
before I can begin to heal.
Companion me through tears
And sit with me in loving silence.
Honor where I am in my journey
Not where you think I should be.
Listen patiently to my story.
I may need to tell it over and over again.
It’s how I begin to grasp the enormity of my loss.
Nurture me through weeks and months ahead.
Forgive me when I seem distant and inconsolable.
A small flame still burns within my heart
And shared memories may trigger
both laughter and tears.
I need your support and understanding.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
I must find my own path.
Please, will you walk beside me?
Reprinted with permission of the author.
About the Author

Jill Englar is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with
Carroll Hospice, Inc. in Westminster, Maryland.

Time

I thought that time was healing 
All the hurt you left behind 
That empty spaces could be filled 
My arms, my heart, my mind 
And though my body looks the same 
As it did when you were here 
The emptiness is growing 
Even bigger with each year 
 
I thought that time was healing 
All the agonising pain 
That as the tears were fading 
Soon I wouldn't feel the same 
And though I can be smiling 
And you think that I'll survive 
The pain is in my blood now 
I have nowhere else to hide 
 
I thought that time was healing 
All the loss a mother feels 
That now you live within my heart 
I had you near me still 
But I need so much to touch you 
To see you smile again 
And those memories I'm told are mine 
Can never feel the same 
 
I thought that time was healing 
All the while the mask was worn 
That underneath a new me 
Was waiting to be born 
But now I find I am the mask 
It helps to keep me safe 
And though my heart is breaking 
You won't see it in my face 
 
I thought that time was healing 
All those tears my eyes have seen 
That aching arms that miss you 
Could be satisfied with dreams 
But here I am, in pain again 
And healing stands alone 
And mother weeps, the world can see 
For a son who can't come home 
 by Sue White

When a Loved One's Gone

Those we love remain with
us, for love itself lives on.
And cherished memories
never fade because a
loved one’s gone.
 
Those we love can never
be more than a thought apart.
For as long as there
is memory they’ll
live on in the
heart

You'll Never Walk Alone

When you walk through a storm,
Hold your head up high,
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of a storm,
There's a golden sky,
And the sweet silver song of a lark.
Walk on through the wind, Walk on through the rain,
Though your dreams be tossed and blown..

Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart,
And you'll never walk alone.......
You'll never walk alone.

Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart,
And you'll never walk alone.......
You'll never walk alone.

How Very Special You Are

Your presence is a present to the world.
You're unique and one of a kind.
Your life can be what you want it to be.
Take the days just one at a time.
Count your blessings, not your troubles.
You'll make it through whatever comes along.
Within you are so many answers. Understand, have courage, be strong.
Don't put limits on yourself.
So many dreams are waiting to be realised.
Decisions are too important to leave to chance.
Reach for your peak, your goal, your prize.
Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.
The longer one carries a problem, the heavier it gets.
Don't take things too seriously. Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.
Remember that a little love goes a long way Remember that a lot...goes forever.
Remember that friendship is a wise investment.
Life's treasures are people...together. Realise that it's never too late.
Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.
Have health and hope and happiness.
Take time to wish upon a star.
And don't ever forget...for even a day...
how very special you are

by: Collin McCarty

Death is Nothing At All

Death is nothing at all...
I have only slipped away to the next room...
I am I and you are you...
Whatever we were to each, that we are still.

Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak it to me in the same way you always used.
Put no difference into your tone,
Wear no false air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect, without the ghost of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolutely unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident.

I am but waiting for you for an interval
Somewhere very near
Just around the corner.
All is well.


Henry Scott Holland 1847-1918, Canon of St Paul's, London

Remember ME

To the living, I am gone.
To the sorrowful, I will never return.
To the angry, I was cheated.
To the happy, I am at peace.
To the faithful, I have never left.
I cannot speak, but I can listen.
I cannot be seen but I can be heard.
So as you look in awe at a mighty forest and its grand majesty,
Remember me.
Remember me in your heart, your thoughts, and your memories.
Of the times we cried, the times we fought, and the times we laughed.
For if you always think of me, I will never have gone.

"I Had a Dream"

MARGARET FISHBACK POWERS:
One night I dreamed a dream.
I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets
of footprints in the sand,
one belonging to me
and one to my Lord.
When the last scene of my life shot before me
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
There was only one set of footprints.
I realized that this was at the lowest
and saddest times of my life.
This always bothered me
and I questioned the Lord
about my dilemma.
“Lord, you told me when I decided to follow You,
You would walk and talk with me all the way.
But I’m aware that during the most troublesome
times of my life there is only one set of footprints.
I just don’t understand why, when I needed You most,
You leave me.”
He whispered, “My precious child,
I love you and will never leave you
never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints
it was then that I carried you.”

When Tomorrow Starts Without Me

When tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me:

I wish you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say

I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you, 
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too:

But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand.

And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.

But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,

He said, "This is eternity.
And all I've promised you.
Today your life on earth is past,
But here life starts anew."

"I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day's the same way
There's no longing for the past."

So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.

WHY?

Perhaps one day we’ll understand
Why God decided to take your hand
And lead you into Heaven above
surrounded by his tender love.

Never does a day pass by
that we don’t ask the question why?
Why did God take our precious son?
Was it something we had done?

We hope to face the Lord one day
and ask him why you couldn’t stay
on earth with those who loved you so,
those who wanted to see you grow.

We mourn for the things that will not be,
for the things with you, we'll never see.
the fun and games we'll never share,
for special times when you won't be there

No more to see your smiling face,
Nothing will ever take its place,
In our hearts you will always stay,
While we await that 'One Sweet Day'.

That 'One Sweet Day' in Heaven above,
Where we will meet and affirm our love.
Once more our arms will hold you tight,
As in God's presence we'll reunite.

Until that day, we must live our lives
Ensuring each memory of you survives,
And feel your presence, ever near,
each time we shed each painful tear.

"See you in Heaven", you'll hear us say,
as you watch over us every day,
Then when our lives on earth are done
We know you'll be the one to come.

You'll take us gently by the hand,
and lead us to God's Heavenly land,
where all together we will be,
our, once more, happy family.

 

Written by Bea Brunton - November 1998

Men Do Cry

I heard quite often "men don't cry"
though no one ever told me why
So when I fell and skinned a knee,
no one came by to comfort me.
And when some bully-boy at school
would pull a prank so mean and cruel
I'd quickly learn to turn and quip,
"It doesn't hurt," and bite my lip.
So as I grew to reasoned years,
I learned to stifle my tears.
Though "Be a big boy" it began,
quite soon I learned to "Be a man."
And I could play that stoic role
while storm and tempest wracked my soul.
No pain or setback could there be
could wrest one single tear from me.
Then one long night I stood nearby
and helplessly watched my son die.
And quickly found, to my surprise,
that all that tearless talk was lies.
And still I cry, and have no shame,
I can not play that "big boy" game.
And openly, without remorse,
I let my sorrow take its course.
So those of you who can't abide
a man you've seen who's often cried,
reach out to him with all your heart
as one whose life's been torn apart.
For men do cry when they can see
their loss of immortality.
And tears will come in endless streams
when mindless fate destroys their dreams

 

By Ken Falk

A Child Loaned

"I'll lend you for a little time
A child of Mine," He said,
"For you to love the while he lives,
And mourn for when he's dead.
It may be six or seven years
Or twenty-two or three,
But will you, till I call him back,
Take care of him for Me?
He'll bring his charms to gladden you,
And should his stay be brief,
You'll have his lovely memories
As solace for your grief."

"I cannot promise he will stay,
Since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught down there
I want this child to learn.
I've looked this wide world over,
In my search for teachers true.
And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes,
I have selected you.
Now will you give him all your love,
Not think the labor vain,
Nor hate Me when I come to call
And take him back again?"

I fancied that I heard them say,
"Dear Lord, Thy will be done,
For all the joy Thy child shall bring,
The risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness,
We'll love him while we may,
And for the happiness we've known,
Forever grateful stay.
But should the angels call for him,
Much sooner than we planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes,
And try to understand."

If Roses Grew in Heaven

If Roses grow in Heaven,
Lord please pick a bunch for me,
Place them in my Mother's arms
and tell her they're from me.
Tell her I love her and miss her,
and when she turns to smile,
place a kiss upon her cheek
and hold her for awhile.
Because remembering her is easy,
I do it every day,
but there's an ache within my heart
that will never go away.

A Butterfly Lights Beside Us

"A butterfly lights beside us, like a sunbeam...
and for a brief moment it's glory
and beauty belong to our world...
but then it flies on again, and although
we wish it could have stayed,
we are so thankful to have seen it at all."

To My Dear Family

Some things I'd like to say,
But first of all to let you know
That I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from Heaven
Where I dwell with God above,
Where there's no more tears or sadness
There is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy
Just because I'm out of sight,
Remember that I'm with you
Every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you
When my life on Earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me
And He said I welcome you.
It's good to have you back again
You were missed while you were gone,
As for your dearest family
They'll be here later on.
I need you here so badly
As part of My big plan,
There's so much that we have to do
To help our mortal man.
Then God gave me a list of things
He wished for me to do,
And foremost on that list of mine
Is to watch and care for you.
And I will be beside you
Every day and week and year,
And when you're sad I'm standing there
To wipe away the tear.
And when you lie in bed at night
The days chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you
In the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on Earth
And all those loving years,
Because you're only human
They are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry
It does relieve the pain,
Remember there would be no flowers
Unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you
Of all that God has planned,
But if I were to tell you
You wouldn't understand.
But one thing is for certain
Though my life on Earth is o're,
I am closer to you now
Than I ever was before.
And to my very many friends
Trust God knows what is best,
I'm still not far away from you
I'm just beyond the crest.
There are rocky roads ahead of you
And many hills to climb,
But together we can do it
Taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy
And I'd like it for you, too,
That as you give unto the world
So the world will give to you.
If you can help somebody
Who is in sorrow or in pain,
Then you can say to God at night
My day was not in vain.
And now I am contented
That my life it was worthwhile,
Knowing as I passed along the way
I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody
Who is down and feeling low,
Just lend a hand to pick him up
As on your way you go.
When you are walking down the street
And you've got me on your mind,
I'm walking in your footsteps
Only half a step behind.
And when you feel the gentle breeze
Or the wind upon your face,
That's me giving you a great big hug
Or just a soft embrace.
And when it's time for you to go
From that body to be free,
Remember you're not going
You are coming here to me.
And I will always love you
From that land way up above,
Will be in touch again soon
P.S. God sends his love.

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